What Do You Really Want? You Owe Yourself An Answer.

If you could do any job

If you could do any job, or even create one for yourself, what would you CHOOSE to do? If you knew, without a doubt, that you would be successful in that job, what would you CHOOSE to do? Sure it’s pretty obvious that most people want to have their necessities taken care of without having to stress about it. But seriously, that bar is really— painfully—low. Let me be clear: in our reality, it’s easy to lose sight of what you really want. Consider how much space you have — consistently — to be with your own thoughts; to reflect and imagine and daydream about your professional future. It’s not much, is it? 

Now, I’m not calling your life a mess! I’m pointing out that, for most of us, when we pause to take stock of things we’re going to get a mixed (and complicated) picture. We’ve got so much going on even just in our day to day, that it’s easy to feel pressed, stressed, and distracted. So take a minute right now and think back. When was the last time you felt excited about what you were going to do, and who you were going to be? 

We ask children all the time what they want to be when they grow up. We ask children what they like to do, and what makes them feel proud of themselves. When’s the last time someone asked you that question? As we grew up, we bumped into a wall of externally imposed limitations. More and more, from too many sources to count, we were told what we couldn’t or shouldn’t be. And when we took in those messages, they became the root of all sorts of limiting beliefs that we carry to this day. 

As adults, those limiting beliefs can totally run our careers. Limiting beliefs don’t have to be loud and distracting. They can be quiet and constant, swaying our choices away from what fulfills us; and tugging us out of alignment with our sense of purpose. They can take the form of subtle feelings of obligation or guilt that surface just enough to say: 

That space is NOT for you. Get back over here. 

That job is NOT for you. Who do you think you are?  

That life is NOT for you. Don’t go getting ideas in your head! 

Those beliefs make it feel really risky — and frightening — to ask yourself The Big Question: What do you really want? It’s painful enough when voices outside yourself try to shut you down. But when an inner voice does it — it can feel so much worse. Truly though, you owe it to yourself to ask that question. And you owe yourself a real answer. An honest answer is your key to transforming those limiting beliefs, and breaking out of those confines imposed on you. 

Understand that you might struggle with this! I struggled to find an answer for most of my adulthood. But here’s the trap too many folks fall into: To “resolve” (really to avoid) that struggle, they settle for what they CAN do instead of figuring out what they WANT to do. They settle for something that pays the basic bills, but they completely miss their zone of professional genius. That’s not an exaggeration! If you resent going to work, if you have to fight yourself to get your tasks accomplished then you’re not in your zone of professional genius. If you’re underutilizing your gifts, or worse, running counter to your gifts then you’re not in your zone of professional genius. If you’re burning energy faking enthusiasm, then you’re not in your zone of professional genius! Remember: redirecting your career into alignment with your gifts is not magic. It’s not a matter of wishing. It’s a matter of responsibility. You owe yourself a real answer to The Big Question, and you owe yourself the strategic work to make your answer a reality.