Your Ideal Life is the True Measure of Success
Success is individualized
Who doesn’t want to succeed? Who wakes up in the morning and says “Yes, I am not achieving my goals and that’s exactly where I want to be. I am not living the life I want to live and that’s 100% ok with me.” If you find that person, who is genuinely enthusiastic about a lack of success in their own life, let me know. I don’t think they exist.
That being said, success is not one size fits all. Your measure of success must be individualized. And I mean tightly calibrated specifically to you — the difference between grabbing a jacket off a department store mannequin, and having the whole outfit designed, cut, and tailored just for you. Far more often than not, our definition of success has been so heavily influenced by others, that it's difficult to tell what's ours and what's not. It's like we are running on autopilot with the same old idea of success passed down from family and society. How often do you ask yourself:
What do I actually want out of life, outside of my career?
What specifically am I striving for in my career right now?
Where will that striving lead me in 1, 5, or 10 years?
When I get to that point, will my goals for my life also be aligned?
When I imagine that life, how does it make me feel right now?
Usually, we’re running so fast that it’s incredibly difficult to pause and assess where we’re really going. But why spend your time, energy, and resources — all of which have their limits — running after something that isn’t meant for you, doesn’t fit you, and doesn’t make you happy? Consider the barriers that, statistically, you already face. Why muster the strength you need to break down the doors to rooms you don’t even want to be in? When we neglect to question our idea of success and fail to measure success by our ideal life and not just our career, we run the risk of wasting all that work for a big “win” only to find ourselves deeply dissatisfied.
It is absolutely critical that we use our own vision, and our own measuring stick for success. Otherwise, when we look at our progress, we’ll be discouraged (by falling short of some else’s ideals) or confused (by achieving those ideals and wondering what we’re still missing).
There’s a lot of noise out here. It can come from your family, your friends, your peers, or your community as a whole. All that noise means it’s really difficult to tune them out, and tune in to your voice instead. I challenge you to really identify which voices are the loudest in your mind, and in your ears, telling you what success is. Maybe more importantly, pin down those voices telling you what success isn’t. What voices are telling you that the path you want is not the path for you? Begin really listening for them and untangling them from your vision. If you start that process and you run into confusion or distress, then chances are you need more space for your own imagination. Remember, success is more than a number in your bank account or a title ahead of your name. It’s your whole life, down to the everyday details. So ask yourself:
What does my best life look like?
What does it feel like to live it everyday?
How do I see myself spending my time?
Who am I sharing that time with?
Once you can imagine that, you can start pursuing real success with a powerful clarity that cuts out the noise. And because you determined your destination, you will know when you’ve actually arrived.
