I Told My Therapist I Was Lazy!
You know the story: in the quest to become more marketable and more competitive, you go after all the professional development, all the certifications, and every boot camp you can find.
You do everything you can to shore up your weaknesses and close up those skill gaps. Because that’s what you’re supposed to do, right?
I’ve been there. I’ve put in so many training hours in the past that I lost count! And all in the name of becoming more effective at what I do. But sometimes, all that effort can leave you worse for wear - because what you’re actually doing is working against your strengths.
A few years ago, I was on the cusp of the biggest professional leap I’d ever taken. I was preparing to leave the safety and security of my cushy corporate career and venture out on my own. And it was all catching up to me. I vividly recall walking into my therapist's office with the full weight of the decision on my shoulders. All I could do was plop down on the couch and let out a big sigh.
For weeks I'd be calculating risks, coming up with mitigation plans, and preparing for scenarios A to Z. I was maxing out my HSA, constantly checking my savings and 401K, refinancing my home, and reconsidering how daring I wanted to be with my investments during this huge transition. And I was doing all that while making sure everyone in the family would still have food, shelter, and most importantly, health insurance!
I mean, my mind was going FULL SPEED at all times! But I still felt like I wasn’t getting anywhere fast enough. Somewhere in the conversation, I said to my therapist, "I need to find some more motivation, I'm just so lazy!" She looked at me with a slow smirk spreading across her face. It’s the look she gets when she’s about to drop some gentle - but pointed - truth on me. Then she tilted her head to one side and said, "Lazy? Honey, you aren't lazy. You are doing the mental labor of a whole bunch of people… You aren't lazy, you are tired!"
That acknowledgment gave me a little relief. I’d been feeling guilty about having too much unfolded laundry and too few home-cooked meals. I knew it was time to make a big, bold career shift, and I knew in my heart that I was making the right decision for myself and my family. But I realized it was all more difficult than it needed to be. Not because I wasn’t ready, but because I was - unknowingly - working against myself. No wonder I’d been running ragged! But then about 12 months later, something magical happened.
I revisited an old Clifton Strengths assessment I'd taken over the years. When I’d taken it in the past, I'd read the report, nod my head in recognition, and file it away with everything else. It was a good exercise and felt very much in line with what I already knew about myself. But I had never done much with it after that. But this time, with an expert leading the discussion, I had a breakthrough! And the information finally started to make practical sense. Instead of forcing myself to do things the standard way - that often left me drained and exhausted - I learned how to use what comes naturally and easily to me to accomplish everything I learned to lean into my strengths and activate my superpowers.
Imagine a melting ice cream cone. That's how the stress just melted away when I realized I didn't need to force myself to do things the “right” way or the expected way? I realized that networking didn’t have to mean “working the room.” Instead, I could be even more impactful by focusing on one-on-one interactions (#4 Relator). Instead of telling myself that I wasn’t great at execution, I began to realize that I do my best work when I break projects down into small chunks - so that each day feels like I'm starting something exciting and new (#5 Activator)! The difference I saw in my own performance was like night and day.
Your strengths are your superpowers. They are your natural talents, and when you work to develop them they become even more powerful. Looking at how my talents actually showed up freed me from trying to do everything myself. All of a sudden it was clear what areas I needed to delegate, and where I needed to hire support first! Just imagine how helpful that was for taking the leap, redesigning my own career, and building out my team. Now, I've built an entire business around leaning into my superpowers and unleashing those powers to help others activate their own! This is the power of truly understanding your strengths and then leveraging them to work for you!
If you are ready to fully step into your power and activate your own superpowers, I'd love to have you join my new 4-week intensive, Superpowers Activated, starting August 4th. Doors close Friday, so join now.
