Take A Moment To Breathe
Let’s Talk About Last Friday
Last Friday was heavy. But it wasn’t just the particular day I was having. It was a combination of the most recent assault on Black communities across the country, the tragedies of unjust and senseless death at the hands of police officers, compounded by personal loss in some of my closest circles. Whether the loss of my own kin, the loss of pillars in my community, or the theft of Black life on a national scale; the heaviness of it all is cumulative. Last Friday, that heaviness caught up to me.
It was sudden, but not entirely unexpected. While I was personally reeling from the news of continued and unchecked police violence, I was also -- like you -- in the middle of just another big work week. Because of my own goals and who I am called to be, I continue to develop and expand my consultancy. Right now, I’m wrapping up the Winter cohort of my Level Up coaching program, feeling joy and pride for each of the participants, and turning right back around to welcome the Spring cohort.
Moving Forward In Tough Times
At the same time, because of the guide I’m called to be and the commitment I have to help folks achieve firm footing in their careers, I’m conducting orientation for the 31 new MBA students who I will lead through professional development, internship placement, and their eventual full time job searches. The tension between pushing forward in the role I choose to have and being absolutely forced to reckon with the debilitating impact of systemic anti-Black violence is not lost on me.
How can we ride the everyday ups and downs of building the individual lives we want to have, and at the same time withstand the violence in our collective life? What do we do when the hits just keep on coming? To be honest, I wavered last week. In the middle of a big push to wrap up one thing and begin two more, I kept postponing my own rest. I knew I was exhausted, but I kept saying to myself “Just one more thing. I’ll rest on Sunday. I can hold out until Sunday.” Maybe I could have, but that isn’t what happened.
Before my last meeting of the day, I suddenly had five extra minutes. That might not seem like a lot of time, but it was enough to allow me to pause. It was just enough time for me to take an intentional breath for the first time all day. Then another minute went by, and I kept on breathing and tried to clear my head. I thought I was just preparing for my next conversation. But before I knew it, those five minutes turned into ten and I realized that my meeting was not going to happen. That’s when I felt my remaining energy drain right out of me.
That unanticipated pause was all it took for me to finally feel the weight of the week, and maybe even the month. It was the gift I didn’t know that I needed. It was a loud and clear invitation to actually put down my to-do list and honor my own need for rest. So I paused. I signed off for the day, closed my computer, and let the heaviness wash over me. I heeded the reminder to respect my own wellbeing, and gave myself permission to stop pushing -- if only for a little while. Now, I’m offering that reminder to you.
Permission to Pause
In the midst of loss, and anger, and heaviness we have to heed the messages of our bodies. We have to wrangle our time and attention to give ourselves the mental and emotional space to breathe. When we don’t find that space, we end up even worse for wear, and we diminish our own capacity to stay in the fight. To be clear, yes I do mean our collective fight to create a safer and more just world. I also mean our individual fights to carve out lives we can be proud of, and that we genuinely enjoy living. We deserve those lives. They are worth the long haul. So please, find that opportunity to pause. Find those small moments to listen to your body and your intuition, and let them tell you what you need to be able to resist -- and create -- another day.
Consider becoming a citizen co-sponsor of The Breathe Act, a bold piece of legislation that puts investment in Black communities at the center of its vision for public safety. Learn More Here.
If you are an ally in the continued fight for Black and Brown lives and dignity, I encourage you to donate to:
The Daunte Wright Senior Memorial FundThe George Floyd Global Memorial
