Don't Stifle Your Own Goals
Be Brave Enough To Hope
We made it through 2020. It may have felt like it would never happen but we are now looking at New Year’s Day 2021.
Mama we made it!!!
After the year we’ve had, you might be approaching even the concept of the New Year with mixed emotions. You might be a little gun-shy or downright scared about new beginnings. With all the postponements, derailments, and losses we’ve come through together, there are a lot of us wondering if we can dare to hope in 2021.
It’s ok to have those feelings. Being cautious or leary of visioning, goal setting, or New Year’s resolutions is a completely reasonable response to the non-stop upheaval we’ve been experiencing. Some of the luckiest people among us are still carrying the awful toll of the pandemic, of dreams put on hold, and of possibilities that seemed to evaporate overnight. It’s ok to grieve those possibilities. It’s ok to grieve the job you lost, the promotion deferred, or the hard-won raise that didn’t materialize. But in our grief, we need to be extremely careful NOT to self-sabotage. Right now, resisting hope is the definition of self sabotage.
Think of it like having your heart broken. Play it out in your mind like the most dramatic romcom you’ve ever seen. The lead actor rushes out into the street (after a fight, a breakup, or some unfortunate eavesdropping incident) and through the tears they swear that they’re never going to let themselves get hurt ever again. As extra as that might seem, when it comes to our goals we actually make this maneuver all the time. Broken plans genuinely break your heart! By avoiding goal setting we trick ourselves into thinking we’re protecting our hearts. On top of that, by not sharing our vision and not making our goals known, we trick ourselves into thinking we’re protecting ourselves from shame. “What if something else happens?” we think “What if I can’t get this done?” “What will people think about me then?” “I’ll be so embarrassed.” “What will people say?”
If like so many of us you’ve struggled with Imposter Syndrome at some point in your career, or if you’ve been negatively impacted by the (unfair) judgements of others, you may think it’s safer to preempt shame by stifling your ideas, and aspirations in the New Year. But it doesn’t have to be that way. One of the things 2020 has aggressively challenged us to do is to own up to our own vulnerability. Despite our superhuman efforts, some things are legitimately out of our control! We need help, and it feels terrifying! But often, it’s exactly in that place of vulnerability that we find the things (and the people) we can genuinely be thankful for.
Now I need all my “Type A” people to take a nice big breath in, and out. Remind yourselves that vulnerability is only human. Moreover, vulnerability is not weakness. It’s part of our very normal and natural need for support and connection. So as we kick off the New Year, try this:
Embrace the vulnerability
Be brave enough to hope
Get loud about your goals
It’s okay if you have to pivot! There’s no shame in making adjustments, revising your resolutions, or changing your timeline. But take the bold first step and dare to hope — out loud — in 2021.Take a look at just the next few weeks, and then let’s go from there. Then, take a look at the rest of Q1, and let’s go from there. I’m here for you when you’re ready to get started. Let’s connect.
