Back in the Office and Anxious About it? You’re Not Alone.
If you’ve been fortunate enough to work from home over the last year and half, you might have mixed feelings about “returning to normal.” Specifically, you might be weighing some serious pros and cons about returning to the office. Working from home might not have been ideal. For folks who had the extra space, setting up a functional home office - with a door you could actually close - might have been a breeze. For others it was the kitchen table, the couch, or even a closet. Add parenting, homeschooling, pet care, and disinfecting literally everything — and it’s not surprising that some of us are EXCITED to go back to the office. But that’s not universally the case.
Despite the challenges, distractions, and frustrations of working from home during COVID, one thing changed for the better. Micro-aggressions went down. I don’t mean that racism disappeared, or that problematic colleagues changed their hearts and behaviors overnight. I mean that, for a significant number of us, we were no longer confronted by micro-aggressions in the same way.
If you are a person of color, you’ve probably faced some inappropriate behaviors from white colleagues. That might take the form of a poorly worded email, unreasonable performance expectations, or inequitable work distribution among your team. You’ve also likely been interrupted, derailed, and caught off guard by casual insensitive comments, “jokes”, and questions. Unfortunately, when it comes to the manifestations of racism in the workplace, the possibilities are endless. But the impact of these behaviors “live and in person” is notably different than when mediated by a computer screen.
It’s worth repeating that experiencing racism day in and day out is exhausting. But on top of that, people of color have the added burden of managing our responses, facial expressions, body language, and “professionalism” in every single instance. When we’re working together “live and in person”, we don’t have the option to turn off our cameras. We have to slow down time and stop our shock, hurt, and disgust before they show on our faces. There’s no option to mute ourselves, take out our earbuds, and have a moment to audibly breathe. And it’s easier to ignore (or walk away from) an offensive message in Slack than it is to ignore someone who's right there and expecting our immediate attention and engagement.
Think of all the energy, time, and peace of mind we gained from being just a little bit removed from those circumstances. Granted, we needed every extra drop of it to navigate the uncertainty and fear we experienced at the height of the pandemic. So I’m definitely not implying that anyone had a nice “vacation.” But if you’re feeling apprehensive or anxious about being in the office, and up to your eyes in microaggressions again, you’re not alone. Those feelings are valid and based on the real weight that “live and in-person” racism puts squarely on your shoulders. But all is not lost! And you don’t have to accept things as they were. So as you return to the office: Don’t underestimate the power of a single voice.
I think you’re probably familiar with the uncomfortable silence after a particularly egregious comment. Whether you’re the immediate target or merely a witness, that silence is loud, awkward, and oppressive. But it’s also a space of opportunity. The next time that happens, simply say “We don’t do that here” and move on. “We don’t do that here” is not an opening to debate the reality of racism, or the degree of harm caused at that moment. It is a powerful conversation ender that requires no defense or elaboration. Additionally, it’s an assertion of group norms and not personal authority. When you leverage the power of a group norm (no matter if it’s real or aspirational) you’re calling on the power of a bigger structure. It might be the same structure that has silenced you in the past. But this one phrase is an effective tactic to start bending that structure in your favor. It is a small but powerful tool to disrupt “business as usual” and to preserve some of the peace I hope you gained from being away. Practice this phrase, without apology, and notice the difference it makes. You got this.
